Boredom, a.k.a., Seven Hundred and Fifty Ways To Amuse Oneself Dimension Hopping

By: Jadeclaw, Perry, Chi-Megami, Gumbi-sama, Kenshin-chan, Nightlyre, And assorted personalities


"I'm bored," whined Shannon.

"You're always bored," said Julie.

Erin picked something insane off the carpet at her feet. "Find something. There's gotta be a new life form down here someplace."

Quite the accurate statement, considering all the happy campers were currently in Shannon-tachi's dorm room. The room was small, crammed full of bunk beds and computer desks and closets spilling the contents of their stomachs out for all the world to see; it could have been described as a shoebox, except shoeboxes are generally constructed of sturdier materials and have quite a bit more elbow room. Add to this that the room was buried about knee-deep in both Shannon's junk and the six people therein, and you have a recipe for either disaster or life, depending on what sort of chemicals one dumped on top of the mess.

"We could have Perry beat something up," suggested Julie.

They all looked back at her.

"Or not."

"Well..." drawled Erin. "I wasn't gonna say anything, but I brought some more of those nifty glowy red rocks with me. I thought it would be good for laughs."

Shannon's eyes lit up. "Shiny rocks?"

Erin eyed her warily. "Yes. Shiny."

"Like... trip to Gaea, rocks."

"As a matter of fact...."

Shannon shot across the room and promptly fastened herself to Erin's bag -- the bag out of which she had been living for a week -- tossing the contents out onto the floor. And the bed. And the desk. And the window sill, and the plants on the window sill and all of the guests.

Julie picked a pair of underwear gingerly off her head. "Um. Shannon...?"

"Not now. Find rocks. Talk later."

"Ooooookay...."

Fluffle/Twink/Mouse/Shannon rummaged a bit longer and then triumphantly emerged with a handful of ruby red rock-things and a shrill squeep. "Found! How they work, Erin-chan?"

"Well, you just..."

Shannon promptly banged two rocks together and disappeared in a flash of light.

"Never mind, then."

"And she went where?. . ." Perry ventured

"Why do you even have to ask?" Erin broke in, gesturing to the underside of Shannon's bed.

"Gee, I don't know, hmm. CLAMP?" ventured Julie.

"Duh," said Sam.

"Chunks of Tokyo, here we go. . . " Erin said, gathering up a group of the rocks and smashing them together.

"I wonder if you bang these two rocks together, if you can make baby rocks. . . That's what my chemistry teacher seemed to indicate." Said Perry thoughtfully.

Erin grimaced. "Oh, God, let's hope not. Someone's gotta follow her -- is anyone else game for a sojourn into the wonderful world of CLAMP?"

The entire room backed up a step and a half, or as close as they could get in the mess.

"Oh, fine. To get where you're going, just mash the rocks together and hope. Try not to wind up in Antarctica or something, or if you do, be sure you can find the damn things again, or you're stuck.":

"You mean kind of like David Duchoveny in the end of the X-Files movie?" Sarah ventured.

"Uh, yeah. Whatever. I'm following Shannon..." Erin looked thoughtful for a moment. "And maybe bang some sense into the CLAMP males. They can be awfully stupid at times... I'm assuming most of you are going to wander into the Shijintenchishou and glomp Hotohori, so... ja!" She clicked two rocks together sharply and vanished in a flash of red light

"Ooooooh, Hotohori!!!" Perry's eyes sparkled, much like Hotohori himself (giggle). "Yeah, but I've got to keep them from being eaten by the chunks of Tokyo first. Besides, if I bring them along, I might actually get to see Nakago with bunny ears." She bashed her own rocks together with the directive follow Erin

"Well, I guess I should take OFF the pacer blue fairy wings before I go along," Sam said mornfully before picking up her own rocks. "Besides, the red and blue just clash horribly."

"That blue clashes with itself." Sarrah noticed.

Snickers erupted from Julie's corner of the room. "I don't know about you all, but I'm taking off for the wacky world of Kenshin, now. Coming, Sarrah?"

"Do I get to draw?"

"Sure."

"Okay." The two of them clacked rocks and went VFOOM out of the universe.

* * * *

"Wowee."

"I know the feeling."

"I didn't know it would be this impressive."

"Well, it always looked nice when it was blowing up."

Erin and Perry stared up at the Tokyo Tower -- rebuilt once more, by yet another manga-ka -- and then exchanged glances.

"Do we really have to go look for her, Erin-chan?"

"Again, do you truly wish to do your chemistry homework alone every Thursday night?"

Perry considered. "I don't really want to do it at all... but point taken. Akui chemistry homework" she muttered petulantly.

"Good. So we look for Shannon."

"Whatever. Where are we going first?"

"Well... if I know Shannon-tachi, and unfortunately I do rather well, I know where she's headed first."

"And that would be...?"

"The Sakura Veterinary Clinic."

Perry buried her face in her hands. "Oh, no...."

"Oooooooh, yes. We get to shake hands with the Sakurazukamori to make Shannon happy and willing to come home."

"Hmmmm. Magical assassins. . . Maybe I can figure out a few more ways to throw people bodily to the ground."

"I don't really think he goes in for that. On the other hand, he's quite capable of making people bleed using only a few sakura petals. Quite a neat trick, that."

"So. Where is it?"

Erin shrugged. "Damned if I know. How's your direction-taking Japanese?"

"Welllll, I can get right and left turns, and maybe straight down a street."

Erin looked at Perry. Perry looked at Erin. Both of them looked up at Tokyo Tower.

"Why don't we just leave her?"

"Well, I did bring my compass and my leatherman. You know a Girl Scout is always prepared to get lost among cute anime guys and then. . . "

"Leatherman? Let me see it... no, on second thought, don't. I'll hurt myself. But would you mind taking it out and unfolding it?"

"Why? Is this some sort of fetish that you have?"

Erin gave Perry a withering glare. "No. Put Freud no Miko back to bed, dammit -- NO, wait, rephrase that. Put her back to sleep. But seriously -- you have a knife. What attracts Shannon even faster than a speeding Sumeragi?"

"Ksaaa." Perry gave in, flipping the knife out one handed before folding it back and tucking it safely back in her pocket. "I'd rather have a sword or a batlev, but this will work. I didn't have time to register my hands and feet as weapons either, but hopefully people won't mind too much."

Erin blinked. "Swords would work better. What we need is to get Shannon to come to us, since we can't find where she is... the two things that would get her here fastest are Subaru and sharp thingies... you know any onmyoujitsu?"

"Sharp thingies? And the bigger the better right?"

"You got it. I can handle major magic, I want you to go use those hands and feet to get a hold of as many sharp deadly things as possible in the next... " she looked at her watch... "twenty minutes."

"Does that include going back to the dorm to get my uniform?"

"Depends. Does the uniform still move or would it be an accomplice?"

"Maybe. As long as it doesn't start bleeding like an ispano gymelef we're ok."

"So don't link your life to its. Who would wanna meld with dirty laundry anyhoo?"

"I dunno. I do live at college though." Pausing for a minute. . . "Do sharp pointy objects include swords the size of Tokyo Tower sticking out of the Earth?"

"Hell yes. That would have her teleporting here."

"And this says what about. . . "

"Shut up, Freud no Miko. Save it for when we find the offending traveler."

"Offending in what manner? Maybe he wants to meet my uniform."

Erin had no idea she could facefault until she did. Maybe it was a side effect of being in an anime universe, but it was still a spiffy trick. "Never mind. Just don't. Get sharp thingies. Meet me at the top of the tower in twenty minutes. Oh, and be careful where you walk. Scuffing out pentagrams can have nasty consequences."

"Yes, and if Kamui is here, I have to watch for missing chunks of the street. Ja ne!" she said, bouncing up to the roof tops. "Hee hee. Anime physics. No more Isaac Newton for me."

* * *

"KENSHIN!"

"Oro?"

WHAM

"Oh. Um. Did we come at a bad time?" Sarrah watched the rice bowl -- well, it was a bowl, whether the stuff in it was truly rice after Kaoru had finished with it was anyone's guess -- fly through the air and whang Kenshin directly across the back of the skull. He emitted another slightly wobbly "Oro~o~o~o de gozaru?" and fell over.

Julie looked down at Kenshin, then up at Kaoru through the open gates of the dojo. She looked back at Sarrah and flashed a grin. "Kaoru and those wacky rice bowls..."

Flashing back from SD state, Kenshin's eyes narrowed to dangerous, but still happily violet-colored slits. "I sense somebody de gozaru."

Julie strolled into the dojo yard. "Hello, we just--"

Julie's speech and thoughts were both rudely cut off when Kaoru brought the broom down on her head.

Kenshin's eyes snapped back to their former kawaii state. "Um... that really necessary de gozaru ka?"

"Well... maybe not...." Kaoru nudged Julie's spiral-eyed form with the other end of the broom. "Daijoubu ka?"

"Oro?" said Julie.

"Oh my...." Sarrah mumbled. "Um... Miss Kaoru? Could we, um, get my friend up now? Uh, please?" She put on the begging-wolf-cub look and held the sketch book in front of her protectively.

"Well..."

Sarrah hit Kenshin with the cute puppy dog eyes next. Five minutes later, Julie was laid out on Kaoru's futon with a cool cloth across her head and both a dojo owner and a former Hitokiri Battousai bending over her.

"Kenshin." Julie murmurred.

Kaoru half-glared.

Julie opened her eyes.

Sarrah leaned over curiously.

"Kenshin," Julie said, much happier this time, and swung both arms up in an attempt to snag the rurouni around the neck. A resounding GLOM echoed throughout the dojo.

Kaoru full-glared this time and Kenshin sweatdropped madly.

"Oh, my," said Sarrah. "Um... Miss Kaoru?"

"Nan da?" snapped Kaoru.

"Um... she's um... please don't kill my friend?" Sarrah asked sweetly.

Kaoru sweatdropped herself and laughed nervously. "A~ano... I wasn't going to hurt her. You must be from someplace far away, you're wearing the strangest clothes... would you like something to eat?"

"Do you have any Mountain Dew?" Sarrah asked.

"Mountain... dew? I don't... think... so...."

"Oro~o~o~o~o...." wheezed Kenshin. "Oro~o~o~o de gozaru...."

"I think that means he can't breathe."

The room was silent a moment.

"Oh! You mean me." Julie un-glomped the rurouni and he slumped to the floor, gasping for air. Slowly, unobtrusively, he started to crawl away.

* * *

"Ah ee ooh eh oh... kah kee koo keh koh... sah shee soo seh soh..."

"What are you doing?" Perry dropped down from the top of the antenna set atop Tokyo Tower onto more solid footing, grinning her evil psychoanalysis grin.

"Summoning a demon. Tah chee tsoo teh toh... Nah nee noo neh noh...."

"Which demon?"

"Dunno. Mah mee moo meh moh..."

"Does this have anything to do with one of your earlier fetishes?"

"No and shut up. Hah hee hoo heh hoh -- DON'T EVEN START WITH THAT ONE."

"Watashi?" Perry asked, an innocent smile appearing beneath her gleaming eyes."

"Yes you. And what exactly were YOU doing on that nice pointy tower, Freud no Miko?"

"No comment." The cheesy grin returned with a vengeance. "When's the demon gonna show?"

"I have no idea and he-she-it is never going to show up if you keep interrupting me. Now, then. Ah ee ooh eh oh... kah kee koo keh koh..."

"I think I'll leave now before the urge to say something becomes too great." Perry said, smirking down at Erin before leaping back up to the top of the tower. ". . . donna e is requium -- THUMP"

"Gee," commented Erin with a smirk. "Sounds hollow. Now go away and stop bothering me before we get something we weren't expecting."

"Like that?" Perry asked, pointing behind the amateur sorceress.

"I'm not falling for that old trick."

"No really."

"Not a chance, Perry. You've slammed me once too often."

"I'm serious. Hontou."

"Nuh-uh. I'm not even going to turn around and check:"

"Look you thice-damned bastard offspring of an inflatable satan-goat. . . "

"Nope."

"Oh, fine. Suit yourself. Don't turn around and say hello to the purple boy behind you."

"Purple--?" Erin didn't know many demons. Erin, in fact, knew less than half a dozen. Only one that was mostly purple. "Oh, God, no... not...."

"How dare you refer to me as the offspring of an inflatable satan-goat. I'll let you know that it was a DRAGON, and it wasn't even that illegitimate."

Erin turned around slowly. "No."

Xelloss grinned a happy, chipper, infuriating grin. The one, in fact, that was pretty well permanently stuck on his face. "Hello."

Erin said something obscene and unrepeatable.

Xelloss smiled chipperly and opened his mouth again -- and shut it. "You're not Lina...Althought with those boots you do slightly resmble a cross between Naga and Lina."

"Damn straight I'm not one of your sorceresses... what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be taunting what's-her-face the shrine maiden?"

"I was trying. You summoned a demon, I'm a demon. Here I am. Can we get on with this?"

"At least you weren't trying to order pizza. . . You might have ended up with Urd or Belldandy." Perry said. . . "what would you have done with THAT?"

"A hell of a lot more than I can with this," Erin said, jerking her thumb back towards the mostly purple, completely irritated demon hovering about three inches above the floor behind her.

"Awww, but just think of the possibilities. Maybe the two of you could get together and practice that chant again. -- in unison."

"I would, but I doubt he knows his alphabet." Erin shook her head sadly. "Whatever. I'll send the mutated fashion plate back in a minute. What've you got to show for your efforts, Perry?"

"Oh not much," Perry said nonchalantly, stretching "Just a few of these," she pulled a few knives from the nape of her neck before bending down to remove some from her ankles. "I had trouble finding some really fun toys, but I did get a couple of swords, and these nifty little throwie thingies. I left my javelin over there, in case you hadn't noticed the sharp metal phallic object leaning against the antenna."

"Is Freud no Miko getting overtime for this, or is she just tagging along for the fun?"

"It's all sex and violence I tell you."

"Ri~i~i~i~ight. Well... I suppose all we can do now is wait for the magic to attract the Sumeragi, the Sumeragi to attract the Sakurazukamori, and the combination of the above and the knives to attract Shannon."

* * *

"SU-CHAN!" squeeped Fluffle. She wrested control of the body from Twink, who was busy sniffing the air for the smell of sharpened steel, and began boinking off in the direction the dark-haired man had gone.

Subaru ducked around the corner and tried to hide himself in a public restroom.

"Waaahhh... where my Su-chan go...?" Fluffle whined and retreated into the back of the communal brain to conference with her brainmates and get a caffeined drink from the vending machine. The brain, as a matter of fact, looked an awful lot like the dorm room the body inhabited: cramped, sloppy and with many, many CLAMP pictures lining the walls.

Somewhere, far up on the top of the Tokyo Tower, Perry twitched violently.

"Perhaps," commented Mouse, "he does not want you to know."

"You take that back!"

"It may be true."

"Is not!"

"The probability states that..."

"MWAHHHHH! TWINK!"

"Mouse, you can take that probability and stuff it right up--"

"Twink! That's enough!"

"WANT MY SU-CHAN!"

"Fluffle, we..."

"Could you guys be quiet, pleeeeeze?" said Shannon. "I'm trying to sleep...."

"Sorry."

"Sorry."

"Gomen nasai *squeep*."

"Just don't do it again, please... thank you."

"Oooooh. There's the kanji for blood. I wonder what that place is."

"Which one of us was that?"

"Guess, stupid."

"Please attempt to behave yourself."

"LBM, you can bite my big hairy--"

"SQUEEP!"

"Guys...."

* * *

"...so there we were with the magic red rocks," said Julie.

"Magic... red... rocks...?"

"Yes. And Erin said that when I struck the rocks together, I would go someplace that I wanted, so--"

"So... you came... here?" Kenshin was looking somewhat lost, although calm; Kaoru was staring at the pair with one eyebrow popped above the other and a look that threatened to cook them dinner, with her own particular talents in that area, if they didn't come clean as to what was really going on.

"Yup." Julie beamed happily.

Kaoru and Kenshin exchanged glances. Sarrah was just waiting for an "Oro?" but it didn't arrive.

"What does--" Kaoru began, and was summarily cut off by the door to the house being slammed violently open by a hand about two and a half feet off the ground.

"KENSHIN! Kenshin, I--" Yahiko stopped short. "Who're they?"

Kenshin looked at Julie and Sarrah. The two girls smiled hopefully. "They're... guests."

"Oh, well, I just came in to tell you -- Sanosuke's missing!"

Kaoru looked bored and somewhat frustrated. "Is that all? Probably the nice lady at the restaurant finally kidnapped him and got him to wash dishes to pay for all his food bills."

"No, really... she hasn't seen him."

"Oh. Well...."

"We can help find him," said Sarrah, who really hadn't seen much Kenshin at all.

"Uh, Sarrah..." said Julie.

"...we can go out and scout the woods. Maybe I'd see a wolf. I like wolves. We could ask around the town..."

"...uh, Sarrah..."

"...where does he usually go? The restaurant? I'll ask people out on the street...."

"SARRAH!"

"Oro?" asked Sarrah, making Kenshin do a double take.

"Usually tracking Sanosuke is easy."

"Oh?"

"You just follow the trail of felled trees."

"Oh."

* * *

"Oh, crap."

Sam stuck out a hand. It hit a wall. Rather, it hit a broom that was hung on the wall -- she thought it was a broom.

"It's too damn dark in here... someone? Anyone! C'mon, lemme out...." She pounded on the door for the fifteen millionth time and no one answered. Sam swore loudly.

"Lousy rotten rocks. Where the hell am I? Yeesh...."

Sam looked at the door. At least, she looked in the direction she thought the door was within twenty compass degrees of. "SHOAAA. Well, this is gonna hurt you more than it's gonna hurt me...."

Sami-chan took two running steps -- all that would fit in this room -- and hit the door squarely with her shoulder.

"OWWWWWWIEEEEEEEE!!"

She did it again...

"Owwwwwwwww.. . . I knew that I shouldn't have worn my slippers to come here."

She did it a third time.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" she yelled in preparation for the pain, and was duly rewarded by a sharp hurt in the same damn shoulder she'd used all three times.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," she muttered, reaching behind her for her umbrella. Punching the release, she jerked it forward to hit the door.

Clak... eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm THUD

Light spilled into the tiny closet from where the door had once been. Sam folded her umbrella neatly and tucked it back under her arm, smirking broadly. "A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do....Although why I brought this thing with me to Arizona, much less here is beyond me."

Sami-chan stepped neatly across the now horizontal door and went looking down both sides of the hallway. Doors, doors, doors. She hoped she didn't have to open them all the same way.


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